I guess it doesn't really matter if you are there or not. For some reason, I can't really go on without you. I should be past that by now. I guess moving to a paperless format will mean I don't really have control over who reads it and who doesn't. I don't want control, but sometimes I scare myself and I don't particularly enjoy scaring people (or do I?). The gears just click right along. Every little step turns every other gear and cog and wheel and the next grain of sand loses its ground and tumbles through, freefalling for that briefest of moments and chrashes to the ground, its role dispensed with. Then the glass is turned.

I used to think these words come easy, but now I realize that I think for hours, days, weeks, years sometimes before anything is typed. I guess that's pretty easy. After all, I'm young. I've got plenty of life left in me, though its drifting further everyday.

PainFearLoveDrive